Real Birth Stories: Jackie on Pregnancy, Birth & Motherhood
Meet Jackie
Every birth story is unique, and today, I’m honored to share Jackie’s journey into motherhood. She is a wife and stay-at-home mama of three. Today, Jackie is opening up about her experience with pregnancy loss, her pregnancy journey with her daughter Luna, and her birth and postpartum experience.
Pregnancy: The Journey to Motherhood
Q: How did you feel when you first found out you were pregnant with your daughter Luna?
I felt so many emotions when I initially found out. I feel like I felt shock at first. After the shock, I felt happy, and quickly the happiness turned into fear. We had recently decided to “stop trying” after the loss a couple of months prior, and I just assumed I would struggle to conceive again. I was already struggling to get pregnant before losing our baby, and I had never experienced a miscarriage, so I wasn’t sure how my body would behave after.
Q: I’ve kept up with you and your family for a few years now. I was there when you shared your pregnancy loss with us. I’m so sorry for your loss. How did that experience impact your pregnancy with Luna?
Thank you for sticking around and being so supportive during such a vulnerable time! When I shared about the loss, a couple of months had passed, and I was already pregnant with our Luna. And although I was so happy that our rainbow baby was on its way, I was still grieving the loss all at the same time. I was constantly scared—scared to be happy for our rainbow baby or to feel any form of excitement that we would have another baby because I wasn’t sure if it would stay or not. It’s like holding your breath underwater daily, praying the baby will hold on till the next appointment so I could breathe a little again.
I also felt guilty and worried because I felt like maybe I didn't allow myself or my body enough time to heal, and this pregnancy was like a bandage to the heartache from the loss. It was such an odd experience to go through, and not many people talk about it for fear your feelings will be dismissed because you’re pregnant again, and you went through the loss so early on. Like it’s almost invalid to feel any type of way.
Q: What was the most unexpected part of Luna’s pregnancy for you?
The most unexpected part was two things: how incredibly sick I would be, and the fact that she was a her! With Leo (my firstborn), I was sick only in the mornings when I’d wake up. I could eat anything and was so much more energetic. With Luna, I was sick all times of the day. I could bear to eat only specific things, and the round ligament pain?? It was physically tolling.
The excitement to know she was a girl made us feel like we were dreaming and someone was going to crush it by saying, “Hey, just kidding, it’s a boy.” LOL. I kept telling myself not to get excited and to expect the unexpected. And don’t worry—if it turned out we were expecting a boy, we would have been just as thrilled. I was already imagining I’d be a boy mom forever! But I was ecstatic to have our pair.
Q: Did you do anything special to prepare for birth?
I did this time around actually—mostly physically. I made sure to walk daily, even through the pain. I did lots of prenatal stretching, which helped with the pain too! And let’s not forget the raspberry leaf tea everyone swears works. PSA—it doesn’t induce labor, it just prepares the cervix! But I strongly believed it helped with labor when the time came to push. Mentally? I just prayed and let God take the wheel.
Birth: The Big Day
Q: Can you share your birth story with us?
I love my birth story with Luna. So to emphasize, Luna measured 1-2 weeks ahead of her actual dude date. My due date changed like 3 times. I was stated to have her 8/8/24 but predicted 7/25 based off of her size. By 35 weeks my OB started pushing for a birth plan and stated they’d need to possibly induce me or schedule a C-section due to her size. I refused to do either or so I requested to try and naturally self induce as I had the option with my first born. I was advised to wait until 37 weeks to begin try anything and I had until 38 weeks to try and get labor rolling in hopes to have her no later than 39 weeks. At 37 weeks and a day,I was seen to check my cervix and was given the OK to try. I started walking, doing raspberry tea, self inducing stretches & exercises, intercourse, you name it! I was starting to get nervous because her predicted due date 7/25 was getting close. I would be turning 38 weeks on 7/24. I strongly believe she was playing mind games with me cause I had been having on and off contractions for a couple of days already and I would think is today the day? But nope, I’d be fine haha. She was taking her time.
On 7/24, at 38 weeks I was having so much pelvic pressure & she felt extremely low and heavy but still no changes. I was accepting I’d probably get induced or scheduled for the c-section the next day at my scheduled 38 week OB appt. On 7/25 around about 2:30 AM, I woke up feeling the urge to pee so I got up, waddled to the bathroom and as soon as I sat in the toilet I went. Again, nothing out of the ordinary only thing is that I felt like I peed for a WHILE. So I finished up and when I went to wipe, more liquid came out involuntarily so I was like “is this my water or am I just peeing involuntarily now bc of how pregnant I am?”. I wipe, wash my hands and went back to our room and kinda just sat there confused so I whispered to my husband, shaking him awake, “I think my water just broke?” He responds with, “you think?” haha!! So I tell him what just happened and he says he thinks I just had to really pee but I was googling it and google said if I wanted to make sure if it was my water or not, to lay back down and wait a few seconds and then stand up and if any liquid poured out involuntarily and it had no odor or color, then it was in fact my water and not pee. So I did just that, & sure enough warm liquid just started pouring out and I ran to the bathroom & we both just stared at each other shocked bc obviously it’s finally happening! Luna said I was teasing you the past couple of days but this is fr fr this time now lol. Ironically, the day before I was on the phone with my mother in law telling her to keep her flight to land 7/25 bc we didn’t think she’d be on her way any time soon and I even told her I hadn’t even started packing my hospital bag and my mother in law jokingly said the baby was waiting for her to arrive here and to finish packing my bag and she was right.
So after my water broke all over my bathroom floor, I cleaned myself up and then wasn’t sure whether to head to the hospital or wait. I wasn’t feeling any contractions or pain so I figured I could take my time. So I finished packing my hospital bag and called my OB and then the hospital. Hospital said to come in as soon as I could and this was probably around 4 am. We didn’t end up heading to the hospital until about 6:30am after we woke up my son.
Once we arrived to the hospital and I was placed in triage, that is when I knew my labor would be very different to my first born’s & the anxiety started to set in. Most L&D wait until the mother is 3cm or more to be admitted, I was barely 1 cm dilated. They kept me in triage for almost an hour just to see if I would progress but I didn’t so they had to run it by my delivery Dr to see what she wanted to do. Due to my water breaking almost 6 hours prior, I was finally admitted at around 8 am & discussed a possible new birth plan. They suggested starting induction to speed up the process and avoid any complications such as the baby’s heart rate decreasing or getting an infection. At this point, I was mostly worried about baby and agreed to anything that could avoid potential harm to her so I threw out my birth plan out the window and surrendered to faith.
Around 9 am I was in our delivery room waiting to be induced. I was so hungry and asked if I could eat a small breakfast before being induced and thankfully they granted my wish lol. We loved my hospital, they spoiled me and my husband! It was so much more pleasant and hands on compared to my oldest’s delivery. Around 10:30 am my delivery dr came in & being the angel that she was, she was aware of my birth plan to try and naturally induce so before offering pitocin, my OB suggested a medication called cytotec that is a low dose of medicine to soften the cervix in hopes to allow my body to naturally dilate and speed up the labor. I agreed and was given medication at 11 am and she would come check on me in about 4 hours from then to see my progress. At about 3 PM, my cervix was checked and I was barely at 3 cm. At this point, I could tell my dr was a little nervous and said she didn’t want to wait any longer to avoid further complications and suggested we start on the pitocin. I was so anxious I just agreed and said yes. Almost an hour in from that, I began to feel contractions. Within two hours, around 4:30 pm the contractions became increasingly painful and just so happened around this time my mother in law was landing and my husband needed to go pick her up so he had left me to go pick her up so she could stay with our son. While he was gone, I was quite literally almost in tears from the pain. It felt like my pain went from 0-100 so fast but I felt like I wasn’t exaggerating and I had to pep talk myself to just try to hold off as long as I could before requesting the epidural. I felt I was holding up pretty good up until I had this sudden urge to want to push and around 5:40 ish pm I called the nurses in & they checked me and I was 6cm dilated and asked if I wanted the epidural. I said yes without hesitating & what felt like 5 min passed, the anesthesiologist arrived and epidural was administered at around 6:15 pm. I had to do this alone cause my husband wasn’t back yet. After all of that was done, I began getting the labor shakes so badly and the fear & anxiety started to set in. I felt like I was so much more aware now that my pain was controlled & was praying my husband would make it back in time (he did lol). At around 8:30 pm, I was checked on again and was steady at 8 cm dilated and pitocin was increased. As soon as the pitocin was increased I started to feel extremely nauseous and ended up vomiting. I threw up for almost an hour on and off, it was awful. Around 10 pm, they came to check on me again and I was still at 8 cm dilated and baby had flipped face up. This is when I started to REALLY worry. So they had me lay on my side with a big peanut ball between my legs, it was the most uncomfortable position of my life. While it was uncomfortable, it made me nauseous again and again the vomiting started. At 11 pm, pitocin was increased once again & half an hour later I called in the nurses bc I felt the urge to start pushing & around 11:45ish pm, they checked my and I was sure enough 10 cm dilated. They started prepping for delivery and while they waited for my delivery Dr to get there, I practiced pushing.
This part makes me giggle bc it reminds me of my delivery with my son. I did one single push and her head was crowning, same as my son. Everyone was like oh my gosh she’s got lots of hair! I felt like I was birthing my son again bc the same was said about him from that single practice push. At 12:08 AM my delivery Dr arrived and started prepping herself. At 12:21 am I started to finally push. Two big pushes and at 12:26 am 7/26, our rainbow Luna Jade was born weighing in at 9lbs 1oz & 20.9 inches long! And finally I was able to breathe.
Q: What emotions did you experience during labor?
I had such awful anxiety and fear this time around—knowing what to expect but also not knowing, if that makes sense. I kept thinking about worst-case scenarios with everything. I wanted to just fast forward and have her in my arms already.
Q: Did your birth go as planned, or were there any surprises?
My only plan was to try and naturally induce and labor, but that didn’t quite happen. Definitely surprised with how it all happened, but extremely thankful for how quick and smooth it all went.
Postpartum & Motherhood: The Fourth Trimester
Q: What was the hardest part of postpartum recovery for you?
As you know, we are a military family, so we are far away from our families and friends. I think the hardest part was not having our village around. My village was just my husband and that’s all. That was definitely hard to navigate this time around.
Q: What and who helped you the most during those first few weeks?
My mother-in-law was here for a week from the day of her birth. She mainly helped with our son to keep him entertained while I recovered and we adjusted at home. After she left, my mom came for almost two weeks, and that was who helped me the most. She helped hold her and watch her so I could eat, shower, sleep, and get myself together. I’m thankful for her this time around because it was far more different than it was with my first.
Q: What is something you would like to tell mamas that have gone through pregnancy loss?
Grieve however you find fit. You’re valid to feel sad, to feel angry, and to feel scared to try again. Your loss is still a loss, no matter how early or late it was. It hurts just as equally, and you’re absolutely entitled to your grief. Cry as much as you need, but don’t get stuck there. Get out, sit in nature, go on walks, journal, get therapy to help process the emotions in a healthy manner, and lean into your spouse—because remember, they’re also grieving and may need support too. But especially spend time around people who validate you and help you feel comfort—not those who try and dismiss your pain or diminish your feelings by saying, “You can always try again.”
Lastly, find a community who has also experienced the same as you. Trust me, it will feel a lot less lonely and a lot more comforting.
Q: What advice would you give to an expecting mom?
If you’re a first-time mom—don’t listen to anyone. No, I’m being so serious. Don’t tell anyone your plans—whether it’s your birth plans, parenting plans, especially feeding or sleeping plans... honestly, literally anything. It is your baby, not anyone else’s. You do as you see fit for you and your lifestyle. Don’t allow people to project their own experiences and expectations onto you. And if they do, learn to speak up early on—and I’d probably suggest keeping them at a distance. You will see who is positive and uplifting and who isn’t.
Expect the unexpected. You could prepare as much as possible before baby, but I’m here to tell you—your baby will tell you exactly what he or she will need from you. They will teach you, and you will know exactly what to do. And sometimes you won’t, and that’s okay! Because you wouldn’t be the first nor the last. I’m a mom of two and I still don’t know what I’m doing sometimes lol. Motherhood is all about learning to roll with the punches. You will know your baby better than anyone else—listen to your gut always and remember, YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask for help and put yourself first. Seriously. You’re not Wonder Woman. You are to your baby—but not in reality. You’re just as important as keeping the baby alive. Everyone gets so focused on the baby, they don’t realize how far gone mom is. You’re the vessel. Take care of yourself. It’s okay if you need someone to just hold the baby so you can take a long shower or to want to eat your breakfast while it’s still warm. It’s okay to ask for those things. And it’s especially okay to feel sad during what’s supposed to be the happiest time of your life.
Final Thoughts
Jackie’s story is a powerful reminder that motherhood is layered with love, loss, strength, and surrender. Her vulnerability in sharing the highs and lows, from pregnancy after loss to the realities of postpartum recovery is a gift to every woman navigating similar paths. Whether you’re preparing for your first baby or processing a loss, I hope her story brings you comfort, validation, and courage. You are not alone, and your story matters.
