Real Birth Stories: Erika on Pregnancy, Birth & Motherhood
Meet Erika
Every birth story is unique, and today, I’m honored to share Erika’s journey into motherhood. She’s a mama of two beautiful girls, a talented baker, a loving wife, and traveler! Today, Erika is opening up about her pregnancies, home births, and postpartum experiences.
Pregnancy: The Journey to Motherhood
Q: How did you feel when you first found out you were pregnant with your first? Was it different than your second?
When I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked and excited! I had no idea what I was in for. That being said, the excitement came a bit later for me when I found out I was pregnant with my second. I was so nervous about what postpartum would look like for me with a toddler to take care of! I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to show up for my first baby while having to prioritize a newborn - this consumed me for months and it took me a long time to believe it was all going to be okay.
Q: What was the most unexpected part of your pregnancies for you?
The first trimester fatigue!! I swear I wasn’t even that tired during the newborn phase.
Q: You had home births for both of your girls! How did you prepare for them?
I prepared by finding a birth team that both my husband and I could trust. Ironically, my midwife did not make it to my second birth (different midwife than the first) but my doula was really incredible. Aside from the birth team aspect, preparing mentally is crucial. For me, what helped most was having the mentality that I was in this by myself and had to do it myself. Yes, they were there for support, but I had to believe I could do it without anyone’s help because ultimately - it’s only you doing the work. Finding the power in that made me feel like it was something I was ready to do, instead of feeling like I was trying to prepare for something that was going to happen to me.
Birth: The Big Day
Q: Can you share your at home birth stories with us?
My first born, Luna, was born after a 30 hour labor. This was quite the introduction to the birthing experience. After being up until 11pm ordering things for my birth on Amazon, my labor began around 2am… just for context on how much sleep I did not get before things started. I took a shower, shaved my legs (because I had no idea when I’d shave them next), notified my birth team, and went back to sleep.
Around 7am I woke up and things were feeling a bit more intense - not enough for me to think the baby was coming anytime soon but enough that I wasn't able to sleep through each contraction. I laid in bed with my husband, resting, and eating until around 12pm when things began feeling more intense. My doula did not hesitate to make her way over and was able to support my husband and I as things progressed. I continued to eat and move around for the next few hours.
Around 7pm, I had an intense shift of pain through my lower back - little did I know this was the start of back labor and the pain was not going to subside until I delivered. My midwife had arrived at this point and prepared the birthing tub. After slow progression, I laid down to rest and my water broke. Things did not progress rapidly even after this. I hadn’t looked at a clock but before I knew it, the sun was rising again… exhaustion had taken over and I could barely keep my eyes open. We had officially passed the 24 hour mark and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could go without rest.
The water in the birth tub was cold, but I found good enough relief in warm water so I remained in a smaller tub while everyone tried to get warm water back into the birthing tub. Eventually, I transferred to the bigger tub and soon after my midwife wasn’t able to get a good read on the baby. She apologetically told me I needed to get out of the water so we could assess the situation. Going into this, I didn’t want any cervical checks but it was necessary at this point. I was 10cm and the baby was ready. They offered to help me back into the water but I didn’t want to move. I didn't have the energy. I decided I’d give birth right there on my bed. I laid on my back with my husband holding one leg, my doula holding the other, and pushed a few times. Luna was born at 8:14am.
My second born, Nayeli, was a completely different experience and a much shorter story. Early labor began around 5am and I continued feeling contractions throughout the day. I nested uncontrollably hard in the morning and eventually my husband forced me to rest on the couch. I was on the couch all day, as evening approached things started to progress. Around 10pm, I wasn’t able to talk through my contractions so we put Luna to bed and I got in the shower. I notified my birth team at this point and my doula arrived within the hour.
She could clearly recognize things were moving faster than I realized (which is funny looking back, as I was prepared for this to possibly be as long as Luna’s birth). I decided to get into our bath tub for relief. I didn't experience any back labor this time around and I was so grateful! All of the sensations I felt were different than I experienced in my first labor. After about an hour of laboring in the tub, I felt an immense amount of pressure. My doula took a closer look and told me the baby was on her way out. At this point, I’d like to say I entered another dimension because I closed my eyes and became unresponsive but I could hear my husband and my doula calling my name. It’s like my body stopped to rest and charge up to prepare to push my baby out into this realm. Shortly after I opened my eyes, I gave two pushes. Nayeli was born at 1:06am.
Q: Were there any emotions that came up during your first home birth that you weren’t expecting?
Nothing came up during, but afterward, I realized there was so much to process. I wasn't expecting that. I remember looking at photos when I first pushed out Luna and being so sad that my face wasn’t ecstatic. I had always seen photos of people smiling so big and assumed it would be the same for me. The reality was, I was ecstatic and I was also exhausted having just been awake laboring for 30 hours. After a therapy session or two and talking through it, I was at peace with it all.
Q: Having already had a home birth, was there anything different you wanted to do for your second home birth experience?
Honestly, what I wanted most was a shorter labor. I’m grateful that is what happened.
Q: Did your birth go as planned, or were there any surprises?
My biggest surprise was my midwife arriving a few minutes after I gave birth. Mostly because I had given roughly 3 hours notice prior. However, it made me fully rely on myself in the moment and trust that everything was going to be okay!
Q: Your mama was a part of your birth team! Was this her first experience witnessing a home birth?
So, this is funny because I did not want my mom at my first home birth (and I’m glad she was not there because it was a bit crazy). Since it was her first home birth experience, I knew she would be worried for me and it would affect my vibe. I felt it was best for her to arrive after Luna was born - she flew in the following morning.
It was different for my second home birth because I needed someone there to take care of Luna if she woke up in the middle of the night, while I was in labor. I called my mom in the morning when I was in early labor and she got on a flight that afternoon, arriving about 2 hours before I had the baby! She remained outside of the room for the rest of my labor and delivery but was definitely happy to be a part of the experience.
Q: How did midwifery care and having a doula impact your experience?
I think it’s so crucial to have adequate care during such a vulnerable time in life. I feel that knowing you are in this with knowledgeable, experienced people, who really value what birth means to a mother is what every mama needs in this space.
Postpartum & Motherhood: The Fourth Trimester
Q: I remember seeing on your Instagram that you hired a lactation consultant. Can you share your experience with us?
Oh the amount of knowledge I gained from hiring a lactation consultant! For context, when Luna was born and I began nursing, it was incredibly painful. Unfortunately, I didn't have a lactation consultant lined up before I gave birth and I happened to do so on Labor Day weekend so it was 4 days postpartum before I was able to see someone. My nipples were horribly scabbed and I was wincing just to nurse. I didn’t understand why feeding my baby was so painful, but I was wholly committed to this breastfeeding journey.
My lactation consultant arrived and immediately suggested we break out the pump, if I wanted to allow my nipples to heal and still provide Luna with breastmilk. So, that’s what we did. Luna had multiple oral ties, which was affecting her latch. Within a week we had her ties revised and I was able to continue to breastfeed with the help of my lactation consultant.
Q: What was the hardest part of postpartum recovery for you?
Postpartum anxiety, pumping, and lack of sleep! I was an absolute wreck mentally just running on empty. Due to the early days of pumping, my milk supply was very high - I had to pump every 3 hours to avoid clogged ducts. This meant I was getting roughly 2.5hrs of sleep at a time for the 8 months that I nursed/pumped. Everybody’s journey is different but I feared losing my supply so much that I didn’t want to slow down. It seemed like I had a long list of things creating anxiety, some irrational and others not so much. I learned a lot and my second postpartum experience has been significantly better.
Q: What and who helped you the most during those first few weeks?
With Luna, we had family in town for two weeks and after that my husband and I were on our own. Occasionally, we had some help from my birth photographer who happened to also be a doula (Diana, we love you!). Aside from that, we didn’t outsource help for 8 months and that was mostly due to my anxiety. The idea of letting someone I didn't know be responsible for my baby was just not an option. However, it was a double edged sword because it took a toll on my mental health. I can honestly say, snuggles and going for walks were the only things keeping me going. It was an insanely difficult time. Two first time parents should not be tag teaming parenthood alone in those early months. Circling back to learning from my mistakes - the second time around, I had outsourced help lined up.
Q: How has becoming a mom changed you?
In every way possible. I feel like an entirely different person than I was before kids and I’m still navigating that.
Q: What advice would you give to an expecting mom?
Ask for help before you feel you need it. Interviewing therapists before you give birth and setting an appointment for a few weeks after your due date “just in case”. Also, set boundaries around your children for others to respect, and don’t feel bad about sharing what you are/are not comfortable with. Oh, and find a pediatrician whose values align with yours.
Q: What are your top 3 mommy must haves?
A supportive partner
Bugaboo Donkey 5 stroller - I am obsessed. I love it so much esp. for 2 kids.
Final Thoughts
Erika’s story is a powerful reminder that birth is not only a physical journey, but also an emotional and spiritual one. She navigated the uncertainty of early pregnancy and embraced the intensity of labor and the vulnerability of postpartum. Her experience reflects the depth of strength mamas carry. Her honesty about her 30 hour labor, the intensity of back labor, her fear of losing her milk supply, and recognizing it’s necessary to ask for help is something that many mamas can relate to. Thank you, Erika, for opening your heart and sharing your truth. You are proof that trusting yourself and your body can lead to the most beautiful transformations.
